Calling me on my nonsense

Reader and lurker Chris emailed me this question:

"How would you feel if Michael grows up to be a meat-eating right wing conservative who falls in love with a full fledged catholic girl?"

Since she/he also told me they disagree with me most of the time but find me "funny, insightful, and downright thought provoking," how could I not answer this question?

No honestly, that is a great question and I'm so glad you delurked and asked. Your questions shows you totally get me.

Michael can grow up to be anything he wants to be, but not a Republican. (I kid, I kid). Honestly, I feel like I have so little control over what Michael believes. I'd like to raise a child to respect all people, of all genders, faiths, sexual orientation, creed, color, nationality, etc., etc. Since I don't believe that is a right-wing belief, I don't see how he could be right wing.

But he could, I know that. Would we argue? I'm sure. Would I disagree with him, loudly and vocally? Of course. But I will always love him.

As for the meat, I could care less. Doug eats meat, doesn't bother me.

Michael may marry whomever he chooses. I don't care what religion or even what gender. I'd like him to be happy. I'd like that person to love him and treat him well.

That being said, I would like Michael to self-identify as Jewish. I would like him to raise Jewish children. If he chooses not to do so, I will not disown him, make him feel guilty, or love him or his partner any less. Their life, their choice. I will do everything in my power to make him Jewish, Hebrew school, Bar Mitzvah, Jewish youth group, Jewish home.

I'd encourage him to do something similar to the trip I took that really formed my Jewish identity. But I know firsthand your religion identity does not come from what your parents tell you to believe. Doug was raised Lutheran. Church every Sunday, Sunday school, Christmas Easter, the whole nine yards. He self identifies as agnostic, sometimes nothing, but certainly not Lutheran.

But, the bottom line, I married a non-Jew, how can I fault him for doing the same? If Michael does not raise his children Jewish, I will always wonder if this is because I married Doug. Because he has Christmas at his grandparents and was given Easter baskets. But, if I hadn't married Doug, there would not be a Michael to begin with.